Alone With You
by theneoncake
Summary: SEQUEL TO ALONE. Mello finds out Matts dead after three years, and goes back to Wammys House to have a nostalgic experience before moving on with his life. MattxMello. Mello's POV. OOC-ness.


_Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note_

I sat on the couch, a piece of chocolate hanging from my mouth as I stared out the window, looking into oblivion. I was bored out of my mind, someone had to hack into important information, we needed it. I needed it.

Looking over at the hacker, I thought of how Matt could have already gotten past the firewall, could have already gotten our information and would've handed it to me kindly, a giant smile on his face.

"Mello, what are you doing way over there? Come sit over here..." I heard a man practically moan to me.

"Ok. Ok. I'm coming..." I said back in my whore voice.

As I walked over there, the man eyed me with such lust in his eyes, I thought I might puke. The way he looked at me, the way everyone looked at me, filled me with such disgust that I felt the need to just run away from the stares. The way their eyes had that look to them.

I sat next to him, only to be pulled in his lap by his grimy hands. They were touching the part of my stomach that was exposed to move me into his lap. The feeling of someone else's hands besides Matt's touching my bare skin, touching me everywhere. Was beyond disgusting.

"Baby... you know you're so sexy..." I heard him whisper in my ear in that tone I hated so much.

"I know.. That's why I'm in your lap, aren't I?" I said as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

I felt as his hands started to move up into my shirt, and that's when I couldn't take it anymore. I quickly jumped out of his lap, his hands sliding off of me. Feeling as the relief took over me, I stood still, staring back into his eyes.

"I'm not in the mood today, but I'll do something for you tomorrow." I winked at him before walking back to my spot next to the window. Out of the corner of my eyes I could see him getting turned on just by me winking at him. How sick.

Sitting at the window, I picked up my chocolate that had been sitting on the window sill. Holding it up to my mouth to take a bite, I didn't really feel hungry anymore after that man's hands had been all over me.

I could feel the way he had went to move up into my vest, the way he tried to stroke my sides seductively, the way he had whispered in my ear. All of this making me shudder, closing my eyes in distress.

If you think this is rape, it's not. Rape is where a person gets fucked without consent in the matter; I'm putting myself out there to get higher in the Mafia. To become stronger.

All of this would not be in vain; all of this work was not for nothing. It was for something! It was... it was for something... First of all, it was for power. Second, the information. And thirdly, the thought of beating that twit Near! No, not the thought, the reality.

Putting myself out there doesn't always mean I'm a whore who wants all the sex; I actually prefer them not all over me all the time. I like when they keep their hands to themselves, which is never.

I don't have time to fool around; I have to get good relationships with everyone, making it to the top faster. The only way they'll help me get a higher rank, is if I fool around. It was a nightmare at first, but you get used to it once you have to do it enough times. Getting a dick shoved in the ass isn't as easy as it sounds. Trust me.

I could hear the music, quiet but audible. It was soft rock, and the singer was a girl, her voice touched me in ways you can't imagine. Hearing the softness, the kind of tone in someone's voice that would be used to calm another down, made me start tearing up. It made me want to break down and cry, made me want Matt to hug me tighter with every breath I had taken. I wanted him to hold me when I needed it. I needed _him_. Now.

Reaching into my pocket, I quickly stood up and walked out of the room, stepping outside. Dialing the number I had so carefully remembered, I put the phone up to my ear, listening to the ringing tone until a familiar voice answered.

"Hello? This is Roger, Wammy's Orphanage."

"This is Mello. Let's cut to the chase, old man. I _need_ to speak with Matt

"Matt..? The red-headed boy who always played video games?"

"The one and only."

"Mello... I'm sorry to say... but Matt is dead." The sound of sadness was clear in his voice.

"Excuse me? I think I misunderstood what you said, Matt is dead?" I didn't want to believe what I heard come from the phone.

"Matt is dead." He repeated what he had said.

"Y-You're serious?" I didn't mean to stutter, but being already on the verge of tears can cause that.

"I'm very sorry for your lo-"

"Shut up! I don't want to hear this! Matt isn't dead! He... He can't be..!" I tried telling myself lies, not wanting to hear the truth. "This is bullshit! He would never do thi-"

He cut me off before I could say anything else. "Mello! Please, calm down... If you wanted to know, Matt died two months after you left. It was suicide."

"_It was suicide." _These words struck me right in the gut and I immediately bent over, hands on my knees, trying to keep from throwing up. _"It was suicide" _The words echoed over and over again in my mind.

I dropped the phone, falling to my knees, covering my eyes with the palms of my hands. I was trembling, and I felt like I was going to faint. Matt... was dead. I was never going to see him again. He's never going to hug me tighter with every breath I take. He's not going to hold me when I need it.

I started balling, the tears falling uncontrollably. The phone was still lying on the ground and I could hear Roger trying to make contact with me. I didn't want to talk to him; I didn't want to talk to anyone. Except Matt.

I had been gone for three years, three years, and all this time. Matt's been dead. He's dead because of me.

I tried to get myself together and grabbed the phone, putting it up to my ear. I immediately heard, "Mello? Hello? Are you okay?" The worry in his voice was apparent to me.

"I-I'm fine." My voice came out in a whimper. "He's really dead?" I sounded gentler than usual.

"I'm sorry Mello."

"I understand..." I hung up abruptly, not caring anymore.

All I wanted to do was talk to Matt. All I wanted to do was _talk_ with Matt.

I sat fully on my knees, my hands limp in my lap. My mind set on one thing, and that was Matt. Matt, Matt, Matt, that's all I could thing about!

I wiped my face, feeling numb. The water that was coming from my eyes soaked my skin, making it sort of shiny. I looked at my hands, at my tears that had been left over from my eyes, now dry. The way my hands were wet from my eyes, there was so much fluid that had come from my eyes. I didn't even know that this was possible; well I knew it could happen but had never experienced it.

Wiping my hands on my shirt, I stood up dreadfully, fearing that I would fall over. The one I need at this very moment is unavailable to me, and he will never be available. He'll never call me back. Never talk to me again...

I opened the door, walking inside. "Hey Mell- Oh my god, are you ok?" My mascara was running down my cheeks, making me look insane.

"I'm fine. Leave me alone." I said as I grabbed my motorbike keys and my coat, tossing the hood up over my head to prevent anyone from seeing my face. "I'm going for a drive." I took my leave as I said that, going out the door and into the garage.

Walking over to my black motorbike, I climbed on it, making sure the hood wouldn't come off as I tried to wipe off my face. The makeup came off onto my leather gloves, which would probably be hard to get out.

Starting up the engine, I slowly backed up the bike out of the garage, making sure not to run into any oncoming traffic. Finally getting on the road, I revved it up to full speed, not wanting to think anymore. I dodged the cars, going around them and sometimes into the other lane.

Seeing the three story orphanage from far away wasn't that hard, what was hard was trying to find the right alleys to get there. There was a certain path to get to the street it was located on, making it highly impossible to get to. You could look at it, you could dream about figuring out what the big building is, but you would never be able to know. The utmost secrecy is kept to hide this place from people who might know about L's whereabouts and want to destroy the ones he cares about most.

It wouldn't matter anyways, L is dead. Just like Matt. Just like me. Just because I'm not dead on the outside, doesn't mean that I'm not on the inside. Those men's hands all over me, killed me from the inside out, and now this? If Matt would've got on the phone, if would've talked to me, been worried about me, I probably wouldn't feel as dead and withered as I do now.

I turned into an alley swiftly, heading straight for a short amount of time before turning again. It was like a maze, a maze of wrong and right. I could go through this maze without any trouble at all; after all I had studied it.

I found the exit, to the far north, and as I headed out of the exit, nostalgia instantly hit me. Everything was the same as it had been back then; everything was the same as when I was here with Matt. The exact same.

Parking the bike outside the giant gate that was the entrance to the orphanage, I got off of it and typed in the passcode that would open the gate. As the gate clicked and made a beeping sound it opened for me, as it revealed the grass and the kids outside playing soccer and such.

_"You'll never catch me!" I laughed as he chased me around the field and jumped on me eventually. "I got you!" He laughed, smiling. _

Oh god, it's coming back to me. Not that I forgot it in the first place, but just stored it away.

I gripped my head, instantly getting a headache from the unused memories being stimulated.

_We laid there peacefully, his fingers interlocking with mine as we pointed out the shapes of clouds. "Mello…" He sat up, leaning on his free hand, making me sit up also. _

"_Yes? What do you want this time?" I said back smirking, but only to have the smirk wiped off my face as I saw the way he was looking at me._

"_I just wanted you to know, that at this very moment, I am the happiest I have ever been. Right now. With you." He stroked my cheek lovingly. _

"_I-I.. Matt.." As I said this he slowly moved his face closer to mine, edging closer and closer to mine. _

"_Mello.. I need you." He said before connecting our lips, my eyes wide open, closing at the feeling of his against mine. _

The tears were falling again, and I couldn't stop them. I hated crying, I've always had. The feeling of being weak, of not being strong enough to stay strong.

I made my way across the sidewalk, towards the door, the true entrance. Reaching the door, I suddenly felt nervous or scared of going inside a place I had met Matt, the place where I fell in love with him.

Opening the door, I walked in anyways, trying to be stronger than I thought I could handle. The place had a familiar smell to it, a familiar atmosphere.

I walked down the halls, passing kid after kid, all seeming to have a best friend of some kind. How sweet.

I looked in room after room, looking for the room I would recognize. I opened a door with a giant crack on the front, and I instantly collapsed. The room I had shared with Matt, I had found it. My knees had buckled and I couldn't seem to get back up, no matter how hard I tried. "Matt..?" I called out hoping, wishing for him just to come out of his hiding place happily.

Looking around the abandoned room, I noticed this room was vacant. Rodger must've known I would've been coming back eventually. "Thank you Roger." I said quietly to myself.

"You're welcome Mello. " I heard his voice behind me say. "I made sure everything was untouched. No one has even stepped foot in this room." I heard him kneel down behind me, gripping my shoulder.

"Nothing was touched? Everything is in place… everything?"

"Everything." I felt his hand move off my shoulder, closing the door, and his footsteps get softer and softer as he walked away, leaving me alone with my room. _Our _room.

I suddenly was able to stand up, shaking but steady. I walked over to the bed where Matt and I had laid together for hours; his bed. The bed that had so many moments that I would never forget, they would never be stored away again. I want to remember them. I want to remember Matt.

I sat down on the bed, feeling a lump underneath of me. I reached under the blankets only to pull out Matt's vest. I stared at for a moment before hugging it to my chest, taking in his scent that was still there on the piece of cloth. "Matt… I miss you so much.. I miss you!"

I snuggled further into the vest of his, my tears wetting it. "I'm sorry, I left… I'm sorry! Please!" I realized my useless pleading would do nothing, this only making me cry harder. "Come back!"

I took a deep breath, still holding the vest. "Matt, I'm coming. I'm coming to be with you." I reached into my jacket, pulling out my gun. "I never meant for this to happen. I never meant for you to die." I held the gun to my head, not intending to stop in my sudden motions.

"I love you." I said before I pulled the trigger, my hand suddenly becoming limp as the nerves in my brain stopped working, stopped moving. The bullet shot into the middle of my head, instantly giving me death.

The blood spilled down onto the sheets, and the vest that was still in my arms, staining it crimson.

I jolted up into a sitting position, and my head no longer bleeding. I was in a distant place, an unfamiliar one. I quickly looked around, trying to determine where I was when I noticed the conversant stripes kneeling in front of me.

"Matt?" My voice trembling as I looked up at his face. That face I loved so much.

"Mello." He confirmed what I had asked silently.

I hugged him quickly, smiling widely. I could feel his arms, solid, wrap around my back and pull me closer. "I have been waiting for you for so long. I have finally found you." I could hear the softness that came from his voice, the relief. "By the way, I love you too."

A shade of pink slowly spread across my cheeks when he said this to me. It meant so much for him to have heard my pleas. "You heard me?" Tears started pouring out, but this time they were tears of joy.

"I could've heard you from miles away, I'm always listening." He wiped away the tears that fell from my eyes, looking at me intensely. "Mello, will you let me love you again?"

I kissed him, instead of telling him yes, I told him physically. That day I fully gave him my heart, I fully let him hold it, even if he dropped it, it wouldn't matter, he would just pick it back up again, making sure to stitch it up again whenever it was broken. He stores it in a glass case, making sure to protect it safely while holding me in his arms at night. This is why I love him.


End file.
